Well that didn't last long

I stayed at four for one week. My jj came back into care on Thursday. Heartbreaking. I couldn't say no to this little angel. He was here for three months last summer. I thought he went to his happy ending. Sigh. Parent make a big mistake and now our little love is back for at least six months they say. He has changed so much in the time he was gone. So I guess I amend my previous post to say I'm done unless one of my previous kids comes back into care.....or has a sibling. :-)

Saying Goodbye

Tonight I said goodbye to my 21st, and probably final, foster child. I have mixed feelings about it. It was very sudden and I was quite surprised. I have had her a month. she came with a list of meds and a feeding tube. She leaves with one med and no tube! Praise God, her healing has been so amazing. She was very high maintenance and I am somewhat relieved she went home. I am a little uneasy about her going back to mom, but the judge said return immediately. It is good to be back to my four. I think we are done. I am old and tired, lol. And I am working full time again and so much falls on my mom's shoulders. I know there are other ways to remain involved and support foster care and it will always be important to me, but for now it's time for a break.

New Territory

Well, time to get out of my comfort zone. :-( My oldest child informed me today while sitting in church that she found her birthmother and would I like to meet her?!!! I am not sure how to process this one. She has been texting and using Faceb**k to communicate with her. I read several of the text messages, they seem benign but I worry.

All My Children

I have been thinking about my kids tonight. Not just the ones I have now and adopted, but All my kids. I have had 20 children come to my home since 1999. Some of them I desperately wanted to adopt. a few I asked to be moved for different reasons. I can tell you every one of their names. I wonder where they are now. I wonder if I made a difference for them. Did I love them enough, did I make the right choice. I miss them, I pray for them and I hope for the impossible...to see them again some day.

I love Fall

just sayin'

Still Alive!

I keep thinking I would post and then I just run out of motivation. Four kids, a full time job and I am just too tired to put a sentence together.... and then there is Facebook. I post a lot to FB. It's quick, it's easy and it doesn't take too much thought. We have been....busy. The best news is the Baby Boy is a keeper! Parental rights were terminated in March, just shy of one year. I have been a foster parent a long time and have never had a case go so quickly. It will be a while before adoption, but he is worth the wait. :0) My busy little kindergartener loves school. She loves homework, she loves her teacher and she is very popular with the other kids. She has two "BFF's" and they are so sweet together My big boy has his share of struggles, but he has improved so much this year. He was in Title 1 reading and improved so much, he was moved out of that program and reads at grade level.He does have some attention problems and behavior that stems from that, but he is taking a small dose of medication and it helps him alot. My biggest struggle has been my 14 year old. She has put me through an emotional wringer. Depression, acting out, drug use, hospitalization... the works. I am doing all I can to help her, but sometimes it never seems like it's enough. We have thought about moving,grandma needs her own space and we definitely need more space. I am not sure if I can make it happen but I am going to keep looking and praying. I am still a foster parent, although I told them they can only call me for 1 more kid, lol. I dont' have any more room in my van. I don't know if I would really take another kiddo, but if I felt that is what the Lord was leading me to, who am I to stand in his way?

Tradition

I have to admit that I am not always consistent with my kids. Sometimes (rarely) when I say no and they whine enough, I give in just to distract them or keep them quiet. We don't have a lot of routines in our days, we don't always get our books read before bed, or our teeth brushed or prayer said if it is realy late.

We don't have our yearly Christmas cookie baking day and we don't do Easter baskets or egg hunts the same way every year. In short, I like to mix it up a little and am not really a girl who always follows the same traditions.

EXCEPT.....The Great Pumpkin Patch in Arthur, IL. Every year (except one where we went to Black Bart's) we take a 1 1/2 hour drive to the pumpkin patch. We have been going since Amanda was 2. Every. Year.

We have taken friends, respite kids, some years strollers, some years two strollers! last year NO strollers, we have worn shorts some years and winter coats in others. We walk around the puddles, through the maze and eat pumpkin cookies, pumpkin ice cream and kettle corn. This year was no exception, it was cold and windy and sunny and we had a wonderful time. I wonder how many more years my kids will still think this is fun? As for me, I will keep going until I am taking my great grandkids. It's our family tradition!