Wow, it's been a while!

I have no excuse really, other than being busy. but the holidays are here again and we have had a tough season.  Things are not going well for Amanda, I am struggling with my job and being a single mom and now i am taking classes to finish my bachelors degree (finally)Everyone has been healthy and  Ben and Cait are back in daycare since my live in help left on short notice.  My mom got a new job and now works evenings so she can't help with the kids.  i am feeling overwhelmed and anxious.  not the things I want to feel this special time of year. sigh.  I am trying to focus on trust ing God with all things, but I am feeling very alone and maybe having a pity party for myself.  so after the new year hopefully things will get better.  For now, here are my little darlings. 

the First day of school

School

Everyone is in school.  Amanda is in 6th grade this year.  I cannot believe it.  It has not been an easy start for her.  She struggles alot with turning things in and being prepared and being responsible.  I have already had a meeting with her teachers after 5 detentions in three weeks.  *sigh*  I am simply at my wits end.  We have had changes at home too.  My niece (who lives with us) who was helping me by watching the little kids and getting everyone on  and off the bus gave me very short notice that she got a job and couldn't do that anymore.  Needless to say, I was not very happy. 

So now Ben and Caitlyn are back in daycare.  They went back to the same place I had them before so they are comfortable and happy. I know everyone there and the routine so I am ok with it.  Except for the money I now have to shell out for daycare.  :0(  very bad.

But, Ben and Cait are also in pre-school this year.  Caitlyn goes to daycare at 7:30 am and the bus picks her up to go to the school at 7:55 am.  She gets back to daycare at 11 ish and stays the rest of the day.  She seems to like it very much and is really tired at the end of the day which I like come bedtime.
Ben goes to daycare in the morning and the bus picks him up at noon ish to take him to school and brings him back when school gets out.  He doesn't get a nap, so by bedtime he is exhausted.  Again, good for mommy.

I hate the new routine and would like a new job with better hours and more money, but so far that is not happening.  I am sad and frustrated and tired.  I am continually reminding myself that God will provide, but I am struggling financially and emotionally right now to see that happening.

Friends

Ben has a best friend. He has the same name, he goes everywhere with Ben and I mean everywhere. he eats dirt, sleeps outside, goes swimming with him., rides in the car. he is not however allowed to eat at the table or go inside church with us. And Benjamin Bear has been to the "eyeball tower"

Ben's "Eyeball" tower

I got home from work the other day and my builder boy said to me "Mom, come see the eyeball tower I built!" he led me to his room and this is what I saw. It took me a minute to figure it out..... he built the Eiffel Tower! This boy will go far.

SICK

My Caitlyn is sick. :0( She as been complaining for a week that her tummy hurts. Randomly, she will just start crying and holding her stomach. She has been refusing to eat or drink and today I had to take her to the ER because she started vomiting. My poor little girl. She has had blood tests, x-rays, ultrasounds and stool softeners and her tummy still hurts. We are off the her regular doctor tomorrow then we will see.................

It's been a while

I have been a bad blogger, but since no one really reads this thing I don't feel to badly about it. :0) to say that we have been busy would be true. My kids are still cute and funny and do a lot of things, so why haven't I captured these memories in cyverspace? Plain old laziness. Amanda has been busy with camps all summer. We have had one wedding(so far), one family reunion, one going away party and this weekend, my long lost brother is paying us a visit. I'll update that later.

There is something going on though. I can't say what it is right now, because I am not sure. I feel God beginning to stir something in our lives. I just read Crazy Love by Francis Chan and am ashamed and motivated at the same time. I need to do something. I have felt this for a while, and have come close to acting on it, but fear is a powerful enemy. I'l keep you posted (pun intended) on any developments. But for now I will leave with one funny from Ben:

"mommy, maybe sometime can I have the gate (guardrail) on my bed, because little boys are round and they roll"