I have been a foster parent for 12 years. In those 12 years I have had 17 children come into my home. Some of them for a few weeks, some for a few months, or a year and three forever. I miss some of them so much and I think I always will. I haven't had a placement for about 9 months, which has been ok since I have been busy with school and work and life in general. I have been saying for the past year or so that when my license came up for renewal that I wouldn't renew. Well guess what? My license expires this fall. Guess what else. I am renewing my license. I just don't feel like I am done being a foster parent. I want more children in my house. My kids (the little ones) love it when new kids come to play. I also have recently found this amazing online group of foster parent bloggers and I have been so relieved to find in them a kindred spirit. Someone who has been in the same trenches as me. Finally, I feel like it is my way to serve God. I can't do much, but I can love on his children. So, I am going back into the trenches of foster care. Stay tuned for related news
Recently, I wrote a letter to a friend of mine. I felt this need to express something so profound to her, as a dear friend, I knew she would understand. I never mailed that letter to her because I thought I might share it here because a. she would read it here anyway and 2. it makes a good blog post for everyone to read. haha. My posts of late have been depressing and sad, but I am in such a better place right now and here is why.
I have been a Christian for many years. I love the Lord and I do try to learn and grow in my faith. But recently, I had this light bulb moment. It was almost as though I heard the words out loud from God Almighty himself and I burst into praise and tears. Are you ready for it?...... God loves me. Not just me in the sense that I am one of his children and he made us and loves us and all the things I have known for years, but GOD LOVES ME! I have known and believed for years that Christ died on the cross for my sin, I have accepted his sacrifice and I get that. but here is the thing, that wasn't the last thing he did to show me he loves me. It was the first and by far the most important thing, but not the last. Suddenly I get it and man, oh man, do I love him. When I look back over the years, the things I complained about or wasn't happy with, I now see as gifts from him. My children, these three amazing, difficult, wonderful children. Out of 17 foster kids, he chose to bless me with these three forver! My single status has been a thorn in my side for yers, but now I see it as God saying to me " I love you too much to see you settle for less than my best" I mean who's gonna love me like HIM? My job, which I like ok, I chose it rather than take a risk that I felt I was called to do but was too afraid, God provided for me because he knew I was afraid . These past few weeks have been so different, so clear and full of JOY, I feel so free because I know nothing will separate me from this love.
So there it is for the world to see. God loves me and nothing could make me happier. I want to step out in faith now and see where God will lead me. I am free to follow him with no fear because he loves me. Pray for me in the coming months, I think there are radical changes ahead for us. :0)
I'm a very busy mommy of three beautiful adopted children. My big girl, my little man and princess monkeybutt are my world. Adoption has become my passion and I do whatever I can to be an advocate for foster children and adopted children. I love my family and we are loving God, loving each other and making life up as we go along!