Today was the last day of school for Ben. Kindergarten is over and now summer begins. He is very excited but finished a little behind so he will be having a tutor come work with him a little each week. He has big plans for this summer including the water park, a vacation, playdates with a friend from school... I hope I can keep up!
Caitlyn finished up with preschool yesterday and if she had her way, she would have started kindergarten today. The girl loves school. Litte momma is such a good girl and a great helper with baby boy (who we now call Bean. long story.)
Amanda finished. not as well or as far as I would have liked or had planned, but there is no point in trying to get her to keep doing school if Ben & Caitlyn are home. It would be one fight after another. She is going to volunteer at the animal shelter this summer about 3 hours a week. really gross, hot, smelly jobs she would never do at home. I hope she makes new friends and learns something. She is definitely headed back to school for 8th grade and I have a meeting set up for a tour with the special ed coordinator (who I really like) I cannot even begin to guess how next year will go. *sigh*
Bean is growing so fast. Visits have been cancelled already since mom has been a no show for four consecutive weeks. If and when she shows up again, they will make arrangements but until then, no bi-weekly trips into town for me. (yay). I found out that he did test positive for one substance at birth and I have no idea how that will affect him, but we will cross that when we get to it. The caseworker told me they have court at the end of the month and she will call me after.... not getting my hopes up.
I am job hunting again. I have enjoyed being home, but now it is time to get back to the grindstone, lol. I have a few leads, but I am just praying that God will put me in the right place and I am not stressing too much.
Until then, I have to think of something to do with four kids every day of summer! Yikes! Let the fun begin.
Really?! Is it so hard to see your baby 2 times a week for 1 hour? When you live within walking distance? When you confirm 1/2 hour before scheduled visit? When you know he is changing in the blink of an eye and he is the most adorable child?
Grrrrr. Can you tell I am upset? I have been transporting Baby Boy for visits to the agency(since I am not working right now) It helps them out since they are short on time and resources. Sometimes I take Caitlyn with me and we go downtown for a walk or to Starbucks, just to kill some time.
For the past two weeks, mom has been a no show. I am wasting time and gas driving 20 minutes to get to his visit
Now, part of me says "yeah" because visit days are rough for kids in foster care and rough days for them make rough days for me. Also, in that deep down part of me where we don't visit, I think the more she doesn't show, the more chance I will get to keep him forever. You see, I am falling a little bit in love with this sweet boy.
But, I also feel for this girl. She has an amazing little man and she will regret not knowing him. I want her to get her act together for her sake ( and sometimes his) but if history is any evidence, this will not happen. Baby boy has a beautiful 2 year old sister that has been in care for most of her young life and is now on the adoption track. sigh.
Back in August when I left my job, I had a few goals in mind.. I wanted to finish my degree, homeschool Amanda, take more foster kids, get more involved with In His Hands Orphan and Adoption Ministry, and take on various projects around the house.
Here is what I have actually done:
Finished my degree! woo hoo! finally after 28 years I have my Bachelor's degree. :0)
Homeschooled Amanda...sort of. This has been by far the most difficult thing to do. I will not dwell on the guilt and regret I have on what we did not get done and just be thankful that she and I both barely survived the ordeal.
Got 1 new foster baby after 8 months of bugging the agency every other week letting them know I was home and available. They didn't even call me for respite!
painted Ben's room and put up bunk beds. painted the sunroom to turn it into Caitlyn's room. rearranged bedrooms and furniture more times than I can count.
Here is what I learned:
I'm pretty smart, work well under pressure, and I'm very glad I am done.
I am not a good homeschooler....and neither is Amanda. It is too hard to fight with her everyday and watch over her every minute to make sure she isn't cheating, stalling or playing solitaire when she is supposed to be working.
I am too old for babies.... lol. Baby Boy is really a dream baby. He eats well, sleeps well and is oh. so. adorable. But, after not having a baby, baby for 5 years it is hard to get back into the swing of things.
I want to go back to work. I miss dressing up and wearing make-up and talking to grown-ups who don't argue with me all day.
I have really enjoyed being home for Ben and Caitlyn and spending time with them, getting them on the bus, and being home on holidays. I will miss them (mostly, lol)
So, what's next? Well, now I look for a job. It would be nice if I could time it to stay home for the summer, but I think I need to be realistic and I know it will take a while to find the right job. Besides, Ben told me the other day. "Mom, when you get a new job keep this one. I like going to day care."
I'm a very busy mommy of three beautiful adopted children. My big girl, my little man and princess monkeybutt are my world. Adoption has become my passion and I do whatever I can to be an advocate for foster children and adopted children. I love my family and we are loving God, loving each other and making life up as we go along!