Wonderful

We had a wonderful Christmas.  My kids are so great and appreciative of everthing they get.  I cannot tell you how many times I heard, "Thank you for getting me ____, mommy!" and hugs and kisses, I was so proud of all three of them.  It was not a big Christmas since our life situation has made some interesting changes this year, but they were so happy with everything.  It does a momma good to hear such things from her kiddos.

But now, I am so over it.  Christmas I mean. Well, at least the decorations.  I started un-decorating yesterday, only two days after.  There have been times in the past when our tree stayed up until February!  I think this year since I am home more, it is getting old. :0)

So I am going to spend the rest of the week taking things down, putting them away and organizing new toys and getting ready for the new year.  more on New Year and all that entails coming up soon.

tis the season

Sunday Morning

I wish I could say it was a quiet lazy kind of morning. but it's not.  I was up around 6:30 and Ben was soon to follow.  He is up with the sun that boy!  And learning how to whisper is a skill yet to be mastered.  As I showered, he lay on my bed watching tv, normally a no-no in the mornings.  Caitlyn made it up about 20 mins later.  Oh my morning children.  Now, at 8:15, they have had breakfast and are playing (rather loudly) with each other.  :-) 
We are off to church in about 45 mins.... if I can get Amanda up an moving.  Ha!  my preteen is not the best in the mornings, to say the very least.
I love them anyway.
Pictures to follow this afternoon

Nothing yet...

Well, it has been 2 days and I haven't heard anything about the new little ones so I am assuming they are not coming.  Annoying but typical.

New littles..... maybe

So after 15 months, I get a call from Catholic Charities asking me if I will take a placement.  ?What?  I thought they were out of the foster care game?

Backing up to yesterday, CC called and asked me to reconsider transferring my license and let me know what my other options were.  Really?  You couldn't have let me know this a month ago? Sigh*  Anyway, I told them I would give them until the first of the year before I made any decision about transferring. 

So at 3:30 this afternoon they call and ask if I can take 3 (!)  wee ones aged 6, 5 &3.  Two boys, one girl.  I talked to my mom and my kids and we agreed we could do it.  My Benny does love to have other  boys to play with :-)  He is such a sweet, compassionate boy.  So I scurry about trying to get things in order and beds set up and thinking about car seats, etc...

Then the phone rings again and they tell me that the DCFS hotline may not get someone out there tonight, so the kids probably won't come until tomorrow.  Again, REALLY!?  The situation warrants a call to the hotline, but not important enough to get someone out there tonight?  Oh, did I mention, these babies have been in care and just got placed back in their home recently?  Poor, babies.  So, tonight I will keep preparing and praying for them.  Updates to follow.

Waiting

I feel like I am always waiting.  I don't like waiting.  Waiting for the right guy, waiting for the right job, for the license, for the kids before I got them, for the kids now that I have them, for a sign that I am doing the right thing, to hear from God (again), for the right guy, for something truely amazing to happen to me.... the list goes on and on.

Most days I am ok with the wait knowing that God's timing is better than mine.  But some days, I just want to act impulsively just so something happens.  I don't anymore because I have seen the foolishness of this urge.

But there are days, oh. those. days., when I second guess every decision I have ever made, when the waiting is unbearable.  That "right" guy, he's not coming and it kills me that my kids won't know what it's like to have a dad.  That "right" job, well since I quit my job to stay home and homeschool Amanda and run a home daycare, I am not sure that is ever going to happen either.  and no, I am not sure that this was the best idea, but I didn't really have a choice if I think about the alternative which just wasn't working. 

That sign from God?  I am pursuing Him for that.  I have been reading (trying to read) a book by Pricilla Shirer called "Discerning the Voice of God", which is what I am trying to do.  I read and pray, and pray and read and yes, WAIT.  uuuggghh!  I hate waiting.  But really,what other choice do I have?